Saturday, October 18, 2008

Helen, do you have a problem with lion-riding?

I don't see that there is anything unusual about riding stone lions bareback - it is a completely normal thing to do ... and Sammy isn't the only lion-rider. It was the first thing I thought of doing when I saw this one in Barcelona! Hehehe.

Go Stuey!!

Although, not strictly a Hot Cyclist, being an Adelaide girl, I can't let SexyBanker, and Mr HTFU, Stuart O'Grady's victory in the Herald Sun Tour in Victoria go unmentioned. He cruised to victory on the back of an awesome time trial yesterday. Go Stuey - he's got to be my favourite un-sexy cyclist!! (Photo stolen from Riis Cycling Website).
By the way, for those of us who haven't checked out the Sexy Schlecks' Luxembourg Fanclub site lately, they now have a hot picture of Frank and his sexy stare on the front page, and a link to UK and Ireland supporters site with pretty pictures (albeit ones we've seen before ...but you can never have too much of a good thing!).

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Shock over Latest Schleck Results

As if he has not had enough to contend with of late, there have been some very unfavourable results released today for Frank Schleck. The innaugral Hot Cyclists Poll, which closed yesterday has seen Frank upstaged by younger brother Andy, who has been officially voted the Hottest of Hot Cyclists. Andy topped the standings with 47 percent of the vote, ahead of Frank with 39 percent. Swiss hearthrob Fabian Cancellara was a distant third, attracting the remaining 13 percent of votes.

While this result may come as a shock to many readers, the ever graciuos Frank has commended his younger sibling on the win, stating at the presentation "First of all I just wanna say how proud I am of my little brother Andy. It was a world-class performance from both Andy and the team out there today. I think we made that race and Andy was in a class of his own at the end".

Andy himself was quite overwhelmed with the win, his first victory over such highly rated competitors. "This is without a doubt the greatest thing in my career so far. I've won a couple of times before against professionals - in the Luxembourg Time Trial Championships and in Fleche du Sud, but this is the first real 'pro-victory' for me, so I'm incredibly happy," he said after receiving his award.

Fabian Cancellara also had a podium finish with a valiant third place, which was a strong effort considering the very pro-Schleck voting public. After the presentation, Cancellara commented "Bronze is definitely a nice and unexpected surprise. It really takes a lot of pressure of me before the time trial since now I already have a medal to take home from here". "At first I was a little disappointed that I wasn't able to win, but I quickly realized that I did very well - better than I could have expected in advance," Cancellara added.
The result has no doubt been a welcome distraction for the Team SexyBank brothers, who are anxiously awaiting the outcome of the ALAD investigation into the non-event that took place in 2006 where Frank did nothing officially wrong and is so over with now that it is not even worth mentioning anymore and just needs to be forgotten about so that the Hot Cyclists can get back on their bikes and practice being hot again to make all the Fangirls happy.
All quotes were stolen from the Riis-Cycling website and used completely out of context, and the photo is by Tim de Waele.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Rules for Lance ...and rules for mortals.

Ok, I know Lance is Lance, and love him or hate him, he's a pretty superhuman individual, but should that superhumanness extend to there being one set of rules for him and one for everyone else? The UCI are letting him race in Adelaide in the Tour Down Under in January, two weeks before his mandatory 6 month period before he's allowed to race is up. How do the UCI expect to be taken seriously? Yes, it is only two weeks, but with the mess cycling is in at the moment, can they really afford to be seen to bend the rules? I mean it's a slippery slope, right. Would they have let Basso race in the World Champs if he'd asked, and pointed out that it was only 3 weeks before his ban was lifted? Why not? If it was another rider in Lancey's situation, would they be so generous? What's the point of having rules, especially ones that are designed to eliminate dope-cheats, if you bend them as soon as it is beneficial for the organisation to do so?

Right, that was my rant for the day ...and I am secretly going to go and watch Lance race when he gets down here, but that's not the point :)

...And here is something completely irrelevant and pointless, but it looks nice :)

Monday, October 6, 2008

Frank Schleck Salad

The last thing that I expected to wake up to this morning was news that Hot Fabian Cancellara was likely to be declared the winner of the one of the TdF time trials - especially since it is October, not July ...but he probably will be because Schumacher's performance was evidently too good to be real, and he's tested positive for EPO. I wonder where it will ever end??

...And SexyBank have taken Frank and Andy's names off of the rest of the year's races. My imagination has been running wild, and I've come up with a perfect resolution to this whole situation. Here it is: SexyBank don't deserve Frank and Andy - they should just call Riis and tell him it's over, and that Hot Fabian is leaving with them. QuickStep obviously need people who can win races now, with Bettini retiring and Schumacher about to be booted. So the Hot Cyclists should join Sexy Tom Boonen at QuickStep and form the Ultimate Sexy Team - they'd look hot in blue anyway. The next step will be some team bonding and race practice. The obvious setting for this the Tour Down Under in January, which of course is in Adelaide, Australia. Which is, of course, where I happen to live. Then I need to get a gig as an official Tour physiotherapist (when I was a physio student, they actually did try recruit people to rub down the riders ...but that was before it was a proper UCI event)... see where I'm heading here?? Perfect solution!

... And Frank Schleck Salad?? When I saw that SexyBank had removed Frank and Andy from their race schedule, I thought I'd check Google to see if this was in response to news from ALAD. To which my friend Google responded: Did you mean Frank Schleck Salad? No, but I'll have some anyway!

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Distraction Techiques

Here is some much needed, and hilarious distraction. Follow the link and click on Ventoux TV and choose 'Frank and Honest' and 'First Bike: Frank Schleck'. I love the fact that Frank's favourite English word seems to start with F and have 4 letters - every time he speaks, it just comes out - he's so cute! And I love the fact that his first bike was a girl's bike.

Waiting... waiting...

There isn't really much to say right now. I don't like waiting. I'm hoping there will be some sort of news from ALAD soon - I'm assuming that is what SexyBank are waiting for, and not for the whole DNA thing to happen (because at the rate the Puerto case - which is closed again now - moves, he'd be lucky if it happened anytime this millenium!!). I'm also waiting for my sexy new road bike to come. I hate waiting.

One thing I'm not doing, while I'm waiting, is reading any more of the crap in the media about Frank. There has been one press release from SexyBank, and one statement by Frank, they say exactly the same thing, and they are the only statements made by either about the situation. I've read them a number of times, and just can't seem to find the bit where it says Frank is suspended - can anyone help me?? It is obviously in there somewhere, because every news article that comes up on my Google Alert is about this 'suspension' ...or is it that 'suspended' sounds so much more scandalous than him not entering any races until they know the ALAD outcome?

Oh, and I didn't see the bit where it said he was 'connected' to the Operacion Puerto case either, as is widely reoprted in the media. What I read was: 'There is no evidence in the full Operacion Puerto case file that suggests his involvement in the case'. I must have issues with my interpretation of this, because I took it to mean that there is no evidence to suggest his involvement in the case. I guess that's why I'm not a clever journalist.

...And another reason why I'm not reading any more "Frank is an Evil Doper" articles are those pictures they keep using. Below is another example:

I've noticed though that Frank is still listed to race next Thursday in Italy on the SexyBank website ... so hopfully I won't be waiting too much longer.

Friday, October 3, 2008

CSC Press Release about Frank Schleck - good and bad...

I just read the press release on the Riis Cycling wesite. Good and bad, I suppose. So the €7000 was for 'training advice' from 'experts'. But it looks like he probably didn't do anything more than transfer the money before his dad pulled him back into reality. And he's willing to give a blood sample ...which will hopefully prove once and for all that he is not "Amigo de Birillo" ...and hopefully he will be allowed to get back to doing what he does so sexily best - winning! ...until then he's not allowed to race, and I will be very sad and suffering from Frank Withdrawal hurrry up!

Here is the Sexy-Bank press release. BTW Bjarne Riis is not one of my favourites...

... And this is what Frank himself has to say. It's in French, but those online translator thingies do the job well enough. I believe him :)

...And then there's this sort of thing. This is what really pisses me off:

For a start, the title - Schleck admits Fuentes payment. I must have missed the part were he ever denied the payment??? Then we learn that Sexy-Bank have suspended Frank until ALAD decide if he will be banned for 2 years. WTF??? I thought they hadn't even decided if there was anything worth pursuing yet. Next, we find out how disappointed Sexy-Bank are with Frank, get a reference to Frank wearing the yellow jersey at the TdF (like that has any relevance here)... And then my personal favourite part - Frank was "outed as Amigo de Birillo"last week by German newspapers. Huh?? I remember reading those accusations long before last week, and if they read exact same press release they quote in the article, they would know that UCI confirm that nowhere in the Puerto documents is Frank's name mentioned. It's like they really, really want a good, juicy story, and don't let the facts get in the way of it!!

...And finally, am I the only one to notice that all the photos in the doping articles make the Hot Cyclists look really evil ...despite there being so many other sexy choices??
Above is an example of Evil-Looking Doper Article Photo used by VeloNews... Below is Super-Hot Frank (can't remember where I stole this photo from but I would credit it if I could remember)...

A general whinge about the week's proceedings (AKA The Frank Schleck Witch Hunt)

I've decided to start this blog precisely because I should be doing more important things, like studying ...but studying is boring ...writing about Hot Cyclists is much more worthy of my time...

I will start by clarifying who, exactly, qualifies as a member of my Hot Cyclists Posse. First and foremost is Frank Schleck. He is, and always will be, The Hottest of Them All. Next is Fabian Cancellara. He has the Hottest Legs in the world. And finally, there is Andy Schleck. He is a bit young, but an absoulte cutie nonetheless. Valverde and Boonen are close contenders, and may very well enter the realm of Hot Cyclists in the near future.

All is not well in the Land of the Hot Cyclist. I am getting increasingly frustrated by the whole Frank Schleck scenario. I am sick of reading dodgy translations of Euro news articles that insinuate that Frank is the world's biggest dope-fiend, based absolutely no substance. He says he has a plausible explanation. At least wait to hear it before calling for him to be burned at the stake, people! ...And besides, that €7000 was for a present for Basso's dog, surely!

...Hopefully it will all be over soon though, because Frank is reportedly in Denmark today to explain things to the Sexy-Bank team - let's hope for good news!

...And even Mr Sexy Legs Cancellara isn't safe from the circling vultures! But Fabian has it all worked out. He has never doped ...but if his TdF tests turn up anything it is because they've been tampered with. I am hoping that silly Fab didn't really say that last bit, and it is just a poor translation - because that sounds dodgy!

...And then there's poor cutie Andy, who has been caught up in this mess through no fault of his own (there is no way someone that innocent-looking is on the juice). He's been the loyal little brother and accompanied Frank to Switzerland and Denmark to do his explaning. Go Andy!

So... I have my fingers crossed that by next week my Posse of 3 Hot Cyclists has not been reduced to 1 Hot and Lonely Cyclist, and 2 Hot and Banned Cyclists.